Expecting Baby #2

We are expecting baby #2 and I am becoming more conscious of what I want out of this time.  Because of the emotional difficulties I had during my last pregnancy and all of my postpartum OCD and depression issues, I am hyper aware of my mood, taking rest when needed, and controlling my stress levels as best I can.  I know many women who survived postpartum issues have more children and are fine, but I have had a hard time letting go of my fears.

I have fears of what my postpartum period will look like.  I have fears of judgements people will make about me and my parenting because of choices I make about breastfeeding....fears of fears I had when Arie was a babe. 

I am giving myself some accountabilities/goals this week to really focus on working on my fears and to enjoy this very special time in my life more:

1. Focus on the now

2. Let people give you their opinions and then let them go.

3. Make decisions and own them. 

4. Have faith that the support system you have now is amazing and something you didn't have with Arie.

5. Be kind to yourself. 

On a lighter note, Ms. Arie is so excited for "our baby" to come.  She is going to be a great big sis.

Best Chocolate Chip Cookies EVAH

I've been testing different chocolate chip cookie recipes and yesterday, I tweaked the NYT recipe and made the best batch I've ever made. Here is my version if anyone wants to try it out! 

Ingredients: 

a little less than 2 C of cake flower
1 1/3 C bread flower
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
1 1/2 C brown sugar
1/3 C granulated sugar
1 1/2 tsp fine kosher salt
2 1/2 sticks unsalted butter
2 large eggs
2 tsp vanilla extract
2 C semi sweet choc chips

Mix all dry ingredients and set aside.
Cream butter and sugars
Add eggs and vanilla
Add the dry mixture until all mixed in
Fold the choc chips in
Let mixture chill for 4 hours

Preheat oven to 375
Scoop dough on to a cookie sheet- can be any size

Let cook for 7-10 minutes or until it is brown around the edges but still a teeny bit gooey in the middle. Let cookie set on sheet for 1 minute before letting it cool on a rack.

I think the key is keeping an eye on cooking time. I hope you all like!

Our Date Day

Aurelia and I had a date day today.  Some real quality mommy-daughter time.  We had a blast.

We went to the children's museum.

She painted her face:

We pretended to live in medieval times.

 We then went to the MOA and went on rides for over 3 hours.  It was a zoo, but I didn't mind at all...Arie and I sang songs as we waited for our turn, made up funny lyrics, laughed and danced.

 We then went to the American Girl Store and Bistro, got a Bitty Baby and had tea time.

Meet "Kristina"-- Aurelia named her after her God Mother because she had ballet shoes on and felt it was the perfect name for her baby doll:

We had SO MUCH FUN today.  Life's days can go by so darn fast, and it was so important to me that I took today to spoil her in every way- especially with my attention.

I am so blessed to call this life my own, and feel bad I am not always aware just how blessed I am.  This little girl has brought so much into my life.....and today was proof that one of the best things about being a parent is to become a kid again.  That Bitty Baby was as much for me as it was for her.  I am so excited to make her clothes and accessories!

Daily Moment to Remember

Jon really wants her to do the monkey bars....

Christmas Time is Here

WOW- I haven't blogged in a while!

Life has been crazy these past few months--I am not sure which season is the slowest.  Part of my problem is I sign up for way too many things!

I cannot believe Christmas is just a week away.

As I watched Aurelia walk down the stairs this morning, I realized just how big of a kid she is becoming.  She is no longer my baby...

Lately, she jabbers away--saying the funniest things!  The funniest so far was when we were at the museum and I told her that we were leaving in a few minutes...she turned to me and said, "OHHH...you must be grumpy!!"  She's also been adding "hunnie" to the end of everything she says.

Many changes in our family lately- Jon's clinic was bought out by Fairview, my parents went back to Burma for a few weeks, my grandparents stopped in MN before they went to Burma as well... it has been a few busy weeks!

Here are some pics from the past couple of months:

i heart faces challenge {bust a gut}

One of my favorite memories from this past summer is going to Mel's cabin... the girls had an amazing time... and so did we!  Below is a pic of the girls splashing away! 

Check out other entries at www.iheartfaces.com! 

Thoughts on my mind lately

No photos for this post--mostly because I like to give my camera a rest every once in a while-and I haven't really felt like taking photographs lately--sometimes it's nice to just be with Arie with out shoving a camera in her face.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately.

Thoughts about life, happiness, love, priorities, identity, parenting....

I started to read the Happiness Project by Gretchin Rubin.  Before I started reading this book, I started to deeply think about mindful living- something you'd think was easy (and maybe it is for some) but for me, it's not.

I know I get caught up in the "busy-ness" of day to day life and I know that I don't stop to enjoy my life that I have been so very blessed with.

One of my favorite things of late is time with Arie cuddling in our bed before I leave for work.  She strokes my face and my hair, she tells me she loves me.  She calls me mama.... it's the best feeling in the world.  I am not thinking about anything else in my life during these moments.  Just being, soaking her in, wishing I could burn this in my memory forever because life is fleeting and these moments are really just moments- they vanish so very quickly.

It has taken a very long time for me to get to this place in my life.  A few years ago- right after I had Arie, it was trying.  I experienced PPD and PPOCD.  I basically also went through an identity crisis, and I felt out of control.  I finally feel grounded, accepting of the person I have become, embracing the life that I am in.

Life is good.

I am blessed.

And for all that I am blessed with, I am grateful....I hope I continue to be for the rest of my life....and I hope I can teach Arie mindful living as well.